Staying Connected With Your Long-Distance Grandchildren
I missed it. I was too busy, time was not on my side, the dog ate my homework, I had a flat tire or whatever other scenario which seemed important and prevented me from driving three hours away and spending more time with my oldest two grandchildren.
I was blessed to spend a week with them this summer and like many grandparents, they did not behave exactly as I envisioned. I was caught unaware. They were not five and six years old anymore, eager to go on walks and find treasures in the form of beautiful flowers, leaves, or pinecones. They are both entering the tween years later this year.
Oh, I don’t mean they were ill-mannered, they were polite and pleasant and loving. However they had their own opinions and ideas, they were growing up and in a world in which I did not have a great deal of familiarity. I nearly gave in to the mentality and the kiss of conversational death which closes the ears of the intended audience by employing these two statements “when your father was your age….” or its equally deadly companion “when I was a child…” Thankfully I resisted.
This week turned into an exercise not so much in finding common ground, we do love one another after all, but rather finding a common language that bridges not only time and space but events which have happened in our lives was, not exactly a straight and well-lit path. We stumbled a bit, we began several times, and in the end, we laughed, played games, visited local sites, enjoyed being a family.
I discovered that pre-teen angst is not much different than I remembered it, that my grandson is a comedian, that sibling rivalry is still around (not too bad though), that my granddaughter has inherited, like many firstborns (I speak from experience), a desire to please, and sometimes hugs, and that ice cream and pizza can be a balanced enough diet.
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Colossians 3:14
I took them home, and as I drove west on the ribbon of gray also known as I-20, I promised myself I would not let so much time elapse between visits. I teared up a little throughout the week when they did something which reminded me of their dad when he was little. I squeezed my eyes shut and wondered where all that time had gone.
Ways to Stay Connected
Skype/Facetime/Zoom
Most kids don’t like talking on the phone, but they do like getting mail.
Write a letter, send an article of interest.
Surprise your grandchildren by showing up (prearranged w/the parents so everyone is home!) for seemingly no reason at all. Let them know they are the reason.
Pray for them and let them know they are prayed for and loved by God and by you.
Be aware of what is happening at their school, in their hometown so you can discuss it with them.
Try reading a book together and discussing it.
Meet them somewhere “in the middle” for a movie, a meal, or an event.
Learn something new together.
Pray for their parents.
Educate yourself on something which interests your grandchildren.
When sad, tragic events happen as they will in our lives and in theirs it is good that they know they can count on you at those times too. Recently I attended a funeral for a relative, my former daughter-in-law, who my grands were very close to. The look on their faces when they saw me was amazing. One of them even said “you came” and I said of course I came. I love you.” It sounds simple, but it was impactful and the right thing to do.