An Open Letter to the Depressed Christian
This article isn’t meant for the average Christian - feel free to read it if you’d like - but it’s for the one who goes to Mass every day. Who receives the sacraments on a very regular basis. The Christian who prays and prays and prays and wonders, “God, why can’t I stop being depressed?” This is for you and the shadow you carry inside your head. So without further ado, let’s start with a joke.
There was a man in town who was a faithful Catholic. He went to Mass every day, celebrated the sacraments, and prayed unceasingly. Everyone in his parish admired him for his faith, “Surely, a saint in the making.” Then one day, the town was hit by a drastic flood. The streets filled with water, and every rooftop became an island. The man stayed atop his roof and began to pray, “Lord, deliver and save me!”
An hour went by, a man on a raft drifted by and said, “Sir! Do you need some help?” The man on the rooftop replied, “No, my Lord will save me,” so the man on the raft continued on his way. A day went by, and a national guard boat passed. “Sir! Do you need some help?” he asked. “No, my Lord will save me,” said the man. Another day went by, and a helicopter was flying by and spotted the man. Letting down a rope, the pilot said, “Sir! Do you need help?” Again, the man on the roof replied, “No, my Lord will save me.”
Another day went by, and the man on the roof died from heat exhaustion and dehydration, but he found himself in front of the pearly gates and spoke to God. “Lord, I prayed for you to save me, but you did not come - why?” And then, “My child,” He said, “I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What more did you want?”
I think it’s easy for us to over-spiritualize what’s wrong with us. Perhaps you think you’re gloomy because you made a mistake or sinned against someone. Maybe you believe that you wouldn’t have been so void of purpose today if only you had prayed for a little bit longer.
You’re probably right. You deserve this darkness that you carry with you. That joy sucked out of your life? You’ve had enough happiness for this week. God is punishing you because you haven’t devoted enough of your time to Him. And the truth is, He never thought you were special in the first place. Everyone else is a snowflake, and you, you’re a dirt clot.
These are all things I used to tell myself- that I didn’t deserve God, that I didn’t deserve to be happy - that my prayers were the only medication to a wound that was only growing. And while prayer and the faith were and still are an instrumental part of my mental health journey, we can’t solely rely on them.
Now before I’m burned at the stake, hear me out.
There are two parts of this reality we call life: the material and spiritual. Often we put an overemphasis on the latter because, well, we hope to end up there one day. However, we can’t forget to take care of what is in front of us, what we are - material.
You see, God not only communicates to us through spirituality and immaterialness but also through the here and now. God gives us a way to help us- whether that be an idea on how to approach an action, a person who says the right thing at the right time, or institutions and services set up for us.
There are times in the Bible where God just *poofs* things into existence- miracles- for the betterment of His people. When Elijah was running to Mt. Horeb but fell asleep under a tree - POOF - there was cake and water for him to be replenished. When Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den - POOF - it’s more like Daniel’s den now. When Jesus was feeding the five thousand with only a couple of Olive Garden breadsticks and Long John Silver’s fish sticks, POOF, they were all fed. God can work in such a miraculous way as the above, but how else does He work?
God told Noah about the flood and instructed him to build a boat. The Philistines were about to defeat the Jewish people. Then David slew Goliath with a slingshot. A rich man went up to Jesus and asked him how to get to heaven, and he gave him counsel.
Yes, God can poof away our depression, anxieties, and mental health issues, but you know what He can also do? Provide you with a raft.
Our prayers are worthless if we don’t put in an effort to show God that we want to work on ourselves and others. And because of this, I want to provide you with a few things that I found helpful for me in my journey.
Community
From a sociological standpoint, man is not an island. We are a communal species - and what does our species need to survive? Each other. So when you go to Mass, strike up a conversation with the person next to you. (After, of course.) Make friends and enjoy the ones you have. And for the love of all that is good, HAVE FUN. Laugh, allow yourself to let your dopamine receptors let loose. And when you feel down, talk with your close friends. Your struggle isn’t supposed to be a lonely one.
Get Help
I don’t know if you’re like me (if you are, don’t forget your laundry) or not, but whenever I’d go to confession, I’d treat it like a mini-counseling session. Yes it is good to go to your priest for reconciliation, yes it’s good to get advice from your spiritual Father, but sometimes that’s not enough: www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists and www.catholictherapists.com are great resources to find professional help. Although it was a tremendous difficulty for me to actually meet with a counselor, my life has been made a thousand times better because of it.
Be Healthy
This isn’t a cure-all, but just like with man not being an island, man is not supposed to be a couch potato too. It is statistically proven that eating healthy, getting sunshine, and working out boosts your mental health. Don’t know where to start? I’d suggest following one of my favorite workout YouTubers, Athlean-X, for workout tips and perusing any clean eating YouTube channel for help (fruits and veggies are always a good place to start).
Limit Social Media and News
This one is more anecdotal than the above, but for me, it’s easy to compare myself (even subconsciously) to others online and come out on the other side hating myself. This goes for news too. There’s a lot of bad things in the world, and the news seems to only cover that. What I do is limit my social media use (or completely get rid of it) and check the news maybe once a day. Surround yourself with positive things instead, and you too will be positive.
Pray
Don’t give up on your prayer life - please. I know it may be tempting sometimes to stop with the thought, “this is going nowhere,” but trust me when I say that prayer was my anchor through my darkest times, and should be for you too.
I say all these things not to mitigate what’s going on in your life, but rather to show you the things that helped me in mine. And even today, when I do all of these things, sometimes life sucks. The sky could be beautiful, my workout could’ve been amazing, my smoking hot girlfriend could’ve made some spectacular spaghetti, and yet, life could still suck. And that’s okay. One thing that keeps me going is the thought that mental health is a process. You don’t reach a “finish line” of mental health and then everything is good. You must keep taking care of yourself - that’s just the life we live. And that, I believe, is how God is teaching me humility and joy (that Rascal).
That to me is my raft.
