You are not Lost, You are Disoriented
Three years ago, a close friend and I decided to go to Spain and walk El Camino de Santiago. Months before our trip, we made the necessary arrangements to fly to Madrid and take a train to the town where we would begin our walk. Once we arrived in Madrid, we took a taxi from the airport to the main train station. Not knowing that there are two “main” train stations in Madrid, we proceeded to the security line. As we walked through security, we were told that our train did not leave from that station and that we had to take a local train to the other station. Somewhat surprised, puzzled and confused, we proceeded to another station platform to board the local train.
When we got to the platform, there was a man waiting for his train. Wanting to know if we were in the right place, I introduced us as foreigners, and told him that we were lost, and needed to get to the other station to catch our train. Speaking in Spanish, he properly corrected me, saying, “You are not lost, you are disoriented.” As I heard these words, saying to myself: call it what you wish, but I am still lost! He proceeded to tell us he was waiting for the same local train and once we were on board, he would let us know when to get off. We were relieved and grateful.
We were strangers in a foreign country and “disoriented” by the new surroundings, but we asked for assistance and received not only instructions, but an offer to “walk with us” to our immediate destination so that we could continue our journey. Similarly, at times in our lives when we find ourselves in new surroundings and perhaps feel lost or disoriented, we may need a guide to walk with us and help us see the proper direction to take.
As we grow and mature, we face new and difficult situations at different stages in our lives. For example, in our middle age years, it is not uncommon to come to a sense of emptiness or of something lacking in our lives in spite of success at work or in raising a family. For some of us, dealing with these inner feelings can be difficult and disorienting. At other times, we may find ourselves struggling with significant life transitions, especially those involving loss and detachment. These are just a few of the circumstances that offer us opportunities for self-reflection – times that call us to consider, reflect and pray. These are times to ask not whether our lives are moving, but rather where our lives are moving.
Spiritual direction offers an opportunity for us to do just that. Spiritual direction offers someone that will listen, someone that we can trust, someone that perhaps has experienced life in its joys and tragedies. Someone who is attentive in mind and heart and has the insights that may help as we travel life’s road. Spiritual directors do not interpret God’s action in prayer nor do they suggest a response. Sound direction does not mean that one gives responsibility for one’s life to someone else. Like Fr. William Barry says, “My director told me to do it” can never justify a course of action. The director is attentive to what is being said and listens for the movements of the spirit in the directee (the person being directed). The director does not point to a direction to take, rather the director is attentive to the movements of the spirit in the directee. The spiritual director listens for the presence of the True Director, the Holy Spirit, in the life of another person.
“Spiritual direction does not give the answers to our problems. Rather spiritual direction is concerned with a relationship, not with magical solutions. Spiritual direction helps us develop our relationship with God through conversation and prayer. In the process, our relationship with God is nurtured, encouraged and appreciated. ”
Spiritual direction does not give the answers to our problems. Rather spiritual direction is concerned with a relationship, not with magical solutions. Spiritual direction helps us develop our relationship with God through conversation and prayer. In the process, our relationship with God is nurtured, encouraged and appreciated.
During our trip to Spain, we still had to take the train, look for the signs along the way, and walk to Santiago. And with the help of our “guide” we arrived at the place to begin our journey. Similarly, in spiritual direction, we need to take the time, make an effort to pray and allow our guide to help us decide the proper path to take.
When we find ourselves in new “surroundings” and perhaps feel that we are lost, ask someone that can walk with us and help us see the way the Spirit of God is leading us – perhaps someone that will say, “You are not lost, you are disoriented.”
Joe Bernal is a spiritual director in the Eastern Deanery and a retreat master at Our Lady of the Oaks Retreat House in Grand Coteau, Louisiana. He can be contacted at jkmca2000@aol.com.