Dark Night of the Soul
“O night, that guided me!
O night, sweeter than sunrise!
O night, that joined lover with Beloved!
Lover transformed in Beloved!”
-John of the Cross; Dark Night of the Soul
Have you ever experienced a time of spiritual dryness? If you haven’t, I’m not going to say you’re lying, but I’d be very surprised. As we move through the long middle stretch of Lent, it’s easy to get discouraged with our faith. All the fasting can either energize us or drain us.
Ask any saint. Most of them would tell you they experienced this too. Those days when Mass is boring, the homilies aren’t hitting home, you’re not feeling the rosary or have much motivation to talk to God about anything.
A relationship with God is like a marriage. In marriage, you’re not always going to be in the honeymoon phase. But once those rose-colored glasses are taken off, and you’re met with the struggles of the mundane, day to day life, having to take life together, sometimes a little effort is needed to keep things going. Even when you’re tired or you just aren’t feeling like being super romantic, you still show up for your spouse, just like we still show up for God. There’s a certain grace in showing up.
Just ask Mother Teresa. She says she experienced forty years of spiritual darkness. And that doesn’t come without criticism. She admitted that her smile was “a big cloak which covers a multitude of pains.” To this, we understand. The life of a Christian isn’t always so happy-go-lucky. But even the late British journalist Christopher Hitchens accused her of being a “fanatic and a fraud.” He even wrote a whole book about it, criticizing her mission and her character. He even testified in opposition to the Washington Archdiocese considering her cause for sainthood. Doesn’t that make your skin crawl?
But what Hitchens didn’t understand was the life of a Christian is about showing up even when we don’t feel like it. For God, for the people who need help, we aren’t driven by feelings - we are driven by faith. (There were other economic and sociological arguments here, but we’ll save that for another article.)
When asked about her faith, she said, “if I ever become a Saint–I will surely be one of darkness. I will continually be absent from Heaven–to light the light of those in darkness on earth.” Just like there’s a balance of day and night, there is also a balance of darkness and light in our spiritual lives. It’s in the low moments we gain footing, build a foundation, and cultivate a deeper, more compassionate faith - one that can meet others in their darkness and show them light.
Showing up for God even when you aren’t emotionally available is a sign of strength, courage, and faith. Anyone can show up when they’re feeling great. But only a few can show up when they can barely stand. So for the remainder of Lent, I encourage you to keep showing up. Keep fighting. Keep praying for guidance. God will pull you through, and even if the world drags you down, God is there to pick you back up.